wasteblock E17

So in my desire to combat the neglect that I have perpetrated against this blog, I'm going to write an article. It may be well written, punctuated, and capitalized, maybe even spelled right. And it is technically about a hentai game. But why? Why would I write about such a thing? Well I'll tell you why. So there's this game called Divine Sealing. It is a terrible, boring, badly designed badly executed shooter, with levels punctuated by short stages of a girl talking to you and somehow ending up naked, with no visual explaination. Somehow the game manages to segway from flying around through different planets to staring at a girl take off her clothes, each time with gradually decreasing visual quality, but such is the joy of early 90's MSPaint hentai. Not that they ever assumed you'd even play far enough to reach such stages, plus with a horrifying point combo based power up system, getting there is almost not worth it. In fact, its very seriously not worth it, but I was bored and had save states and some amount of skill deploying them, which in a shooter is actually a necessary thing. Regardless, this still doesn't give me any good reason to write about this pile of Genesis filth. It's because there's this secret amazing totally bullsh*t weapon you get if you don't suck for long enough. It seems so small and dumb, but when it happens to you in the game you're like, gee, that's somewhat clever of a design in this incredibly terrible game. What I'm talking about is the fifth level of you weapon, possible only from dodging and killing quite actively. The character shot sprite, a traditional two bullet non-animated block, that takes on a brand new path, rather than the simple and previous out in a different direction upgrades of the previous point tiers. This block spawns on both sides of your ship, and begins a circular path, low distance, no rotation, non animated. It essentially creates a saw blade beside your ship, making the destruction of enemies who get too close no longer something to worry about. And why all this lead up to this crap development in the middle of a crap sandwich? To give you a prime example of always being able to find something to take away from anything you play, 1cc, or throw on the ground. So you don't have to play this. But just know. I'm checking these things. Even if just for the addition of complexity to one of the simplest shooters I've ever laid my bias on.

Labels: review